hallowings of cerebral pulses

Am I inspired??

2010-01-15T00:35:00.000-08:00

Its been a tiring past 24 hours preparing for a weekly presentation for CCF meeting. Like other people I was gripped by mortal fears of embarrassment before Subir. But the meeting and the consequent events of the day resulting directly or indirectly from the meeting with Subir is definitely worth a blog. Its been a long time since I have been glued to my laptop for such a long time and not socializing on Facebook or Gtalk. I watched "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch on youtube and followed it up with the Ted Talk by Patty Maes on Sixth Sense technology. I dont know how well I can script my feelings at this point of time but to put things straight I feel "inspired". The last two statements from Patty Maes in Ted Talk were quite impacting as was Randy Pausch's entire lecture. All I know is that from now on I will do a sleepless night only to feel proud about it the next morning. Grad life shakes you up....always for good....it tells you what you are made for...I hope I have an answer to that question now!

scientific orgasm...

2009-09-04T21:50:00.001-07:00

Sounds weird doesnt it. Grad school and its amusing tastes would be how i put it. MEC E 565 is our good old classical thermodynamics class. It turned out to be classical in the rather more unconventional manner. Our instructor of this course is a fellow bong....Dr. Samik Gupta. Dr.Gupta s reputation as a zealous scientist stands strong among the faculty and grad students. He barges into the room with the flair of the winner of a zillion Nobel prizes....smmiles at the class and starts off without hesitating. Me, Satya Sai and Debjyoti occupy adjacent seats in the class....DJ never stops in his efforts to throw up his humor missiles.....at this point he is discreetly tapping me on the shoulder ( I shall elaborate on the reason a little later ). Suddenly Samik babu stops in his discussion of the Gibbs-Helmholtz equation.....and squirms as he clutches his arms tightly, head facing skywards. And guess what he says as he slowly releases as he regains his positional normalcy.....he says " GIIIIIBBBBBBSSSSSSSSSS". Not much happened after that except for the three of us staring blankly at him trying to figure out what WAS the object of excitement (only to be left more flustered)!!

Now the reason as I promised earlier....he is my thesis supervisor!! GOd save me.

MARRIAGE: ARRANGED OR DERRANGED

2009-03-22T02:09:00.000-07:00

They say marriages are made in heaven. But it makes me wonder does heaven actually
devise such comic shows at the rendezvous between the guy and the girl? I have had the privellege to witness a few of these bone tickling laughter shows and irrespective of whether the marriage materializes or not, its one helluva delight for a blogger.

For the sake of avoiding controversies, I shall abstain from mentioning names. After all, whats in a name anyway? Let me just give you a small overview of the scene at the large room seating the guy's and the girl's folks. Its a Tamil wedding to be. He is an engineer ( from where ?...you shall know soon ), she is a to be lawyer. He is ugly and can be passed for absorptivity 1 ( for non-science students, just incase you are wondering, absorptivity 1 is the index for the darkest thing possible i.e lamp black ), she is fair, beautiful,shy and most importantly has already has some 'prince charming' in mind. The only common thing between both of these family is the word ORTHODOX. Hence the girl has not yet been able to muster up the courage to announce that she is suffering from blushing-smiling-insomnia syndrome. No points for guessing that the guy is one among the unfortunate 4 out of every 1000 Indians to have failed to catch the early ( or maybe not so early ) bird. Nevertheless, the scene is all set and the action is just about to kick off.

An assembly of guests occupied everything that remotely resembled a chair. The girl
takes her seat next to the guy whose most marked feature was his complexion matching
dark rimmed frames. " Taak Taak, we are very wopen minded" declared an old uncle with
such a twang that the word talk rhymed with the word mark. Both the guy and the girl sit with hung heads like embarassed children ,being forced to play by their parents. The obvious next pre-engineered question: " so whaare did the baay do his engineering?" "NIT ofcourse, whaare else" someone retorted and melodious laughter ensued ( how hilarious indeed ). For a non Tamilian, it was a bit nebulous whether the laughter was for the cocky presumtion or for the pronounciation ( the latter making more sense ). The girl ofcourse was studying 'La' but as in a male dominated soceity, that did not seem to be too important.

There is something stagy about every arranged marriage interaction. It seems everyone
comes with their dialogues rehearsed. The stand out point in all this ofcourse remains the fact that everyone knows the precise reason why they are there and yet they would force this facade of casualness on each other. Worse still, the marriage according to the stars, is already 'arranged'.....the boy meeting the girl is only incidental. The boy and the girl are allowed to talk in private ( or is it? ). "So you want to be a lawyer?" the guy starts. ( typical engineering brain ). " No, I have been honing in on my culinary skills at the law school for the last four years" says the girl to herself. One of the many dumb questions that the girl has to patiently tackle.Yet she has to nod and smile in assent. "By the way my name is------------" the boy introduces himself. The girl at this juncture is almost semi paranoid that the next question would be " by the way, are we supposed to be getting married?" All the career plans the girl had seemed off the track now. Everything in her life is soon going to be "by the way". " You know, I dont like this whole arranged marriage thing" the boy announces flashing a toothy grin as if sensing her thoughts. The girl heaves a sigh of relief at this and is just about to open her mouth when the boy says " I think we should go around for sometime" ( how romantic ). " Ive done my engineering, you are doing your law, our children wll find it easier to spell the word 'Law'" the guy continues and thereby proceeding to laugh at his own joke. Indeed it is all a joke. And its is rather presumptuous of the oily haired specimen to plan kids and predict their verbal abilities. The girl just stands and gobbles down whatever comes her way all in hope that he is soon going to shut up.

"You are so silent" the guy politely enquires. " I dont know what to say" the girl replies, smiling and weakly defending herself. Not that she had to make an effort to lie about that. On second thoughts she probably thought of a certain Mr.Charming who was the integral theme of her heart. The two now proceed to a 'discreet' corner of the drawing room with thirty sets of ear drums pretending not to hear their conversation. The guy nurses a cup of 'kapi' which her grandmom has most lovingly prepared for him. " Do you plan to continue with your profession?" the guy enquires taking yet another noisy slurp from the cup. " Do I plan to continue this conversation" was what the girl wanted to ask herself. However she stares at the guy blankly to avoid acrimony and confusion. Sensing danger, the girls' folks jump to the rescue. They want this nutcase as their 'damaad' real bad.

"Why dont you sing one of your classics...I am sure he will lou it". The girl's horror continues. She wonders what sense a guy, who has been scribbling mathematical
formulae all this nerdy life, would make of a 'raag'. In a bid to scare or perhaps to express her aghast she starts ranting the most aggressive 'raga' she has ever been taught. However to her disappoinment the guy only sways his head from side to side like a stoned addict in mock appreciation ( the toothy grin remains evergreen throughout ). The rendezvous ends with handshakes and smiles. The girl chooses not to make eye contact with the lizard but like the oil on his hair, he sticks his hand out as a gesture of approval. She only wonders how dark the darkest part of his body would be and shreiks. Indeed the guy really is a wonder who inspires lot of wondering. Exit the guy and his folks.

The drama however doesnt end there. Over dinner the head of the family keeps raving
about the guy's ' quali-fi-ca-shuns'. The girl can only only force the food down her
aesophageus and think of ways to avoid the catastrophy.
Did someone say marriages are 'arranged'????

Figments of Human Intellect

2008-06-04T01:02:00.000-07:00

I think the human breed is often quite dumb..proof??

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
'Do not turn upside down.'
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Sainsbury's peanuts --
'Warning: contains nuts.'
(talk about a news flash)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication.'
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding --
'Product will be hot after heating.
(...and you thought????...)

On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap --
'Directions: Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners --
'Serving suggestion: Defrost.'
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
'Do not iron clothes on body.'
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid --
'Warning: May cause drowsiness.'
(..I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights --
'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to what?)

High Hopes

2008-03-05T10:04:00.000-08:00

beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
our troughts strayed constandly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had began
Along the long road and on down the causeway
Do they still meet there by the cut
There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay
The grass was greener

The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The night of wonder
Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again

Dragged by the force of some inner tide
At a higher altitude with flag unfuried
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world
Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon

Though down this road we've been so many time
The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river
Forever and ever

----Best ever by Floyd

Gospel Truth

2008-03-05T09:55:00.000-08:00

A boy slaps a girl-----first reaction, the guy is abusing the poor female.
A girl slaps a boy-----the guy must have cheated her.

When a husband asks his wife to be a housewife she says------I need my independence and own money.
When the husband says, fine then you work and let me stay back at home and take care of the family------the husband is branded as an incompetent wimp!

When a girl has a crush on a guy, it’s just for fun….and when the guy looks and appreciates some other girl it becomes a fault with his character.

Girl shouts at the guy------she was just trying to remind him of his responsibilities
Guy shouts at girl------how rude!

Girl loses virginity; the guy is the culprit…..looks like people have forgotten their lessons on the human reproductive system.

Did someone say it’s a male dominated society??.....

bengali valentine

2008-02-28T22:28:00.000-08:00

Tumi samudra ami aranya, tumi Amit ami Labonya;
Tumi bhugal ami itihaash, tumi Paro ami Debdash;

Tumi Closeup ami Colgate, tumi Romeo ami Juliette;
Tumi Makaibari ami Wah Taj,tumi Shajahan ami Mumtaz;
Tumi Thuja ami Arnica, tumi Clinton ami Monica;

Tumi chiruni ami ayna, tumi Dodi ami Diana;
Tumi bulbul ami tota, tumi Buddha ami Mamata;

Tumi dherosh ami alu, tumi Rabri ami Lallu;
Tumi ucche ami potol, tumi Sonya ami Atal;
Tumi chips ami popcorn, tumi Phulan ami Birappan;

Tumi jilipi ami chumchum, tumi Suchitra ami Uttam:
Tumi hajmi ami toffee, tumi Boris ami Steffi;

Tumi khyal ami gazal, tumi Shahrukh ami Kajol;
Tumi CBI ami greftaar, tumi Sangeeta ami Azar;
Tumi santro ami ciello, tumi Desdemona ami Othello;

Tumi mach ami mangsho, tumi srishti ami dhangsho:
Tumi Ajit ami Mona, tumi Sourav ami Donna;
Tumi eelish ami parshe, tumi Pheluda ami Topse;
Tumi dhakna ami shishi, tumi Katthak ami Odissi;
Tumi Sholay ami Bazigar, tumi Minar ami Chabighar:

Tumi boma ami grenade, tumi Mahakaran ami Brigade;
Tumi Omar ami Laden, tumi Salt Lake ami Eden ;
Tumi Only Vimal ami DCM, tumi Trinamul ami CPM:;
Tumi Raju ami Gopal, tumi Bharat ami Nepal;
Tumi galpa ami kobita, tumi Aishwariya ami Susmita;

Tumi OK ami fine, tumi aniyam ami ayeen;
Tumi bangla ami hindi, tumi tip ami bindi;
Tumi uttejona ami kolahol, tumi cricket ami football;
Tumi jhamela ami gandagol, tumi Pk ami Amol;
Tumi gur ami chini, tumi hulo ami mini;

Tumi gaja ami khaja, tumi Rani ami Raja:
Tumi botua ami pouch, tumi oof ami ouch;
Tumi babbah ami mago, tumi hyago ami ogo;
Tumi superb ami sorry, tumi lekho ami pori

unanswered

2008-01-14T05:55:00.000-08:00

Can you look into my eyes for a moment my friend?
I need to know something
Can you look deep into my soul my friend?
I need some answers

Can you see anything?
Can you find anything?
Would you care to tell me what?
Would you care to find out?

Can you feel the pain?
I feel heartbreak
Can you see anger?
I feel let down

Can you feel the hunger?
I've lost so much
Can you see the lies
I've done too much

Can you feel depression?
I am lost
Can you see the tears
I am dry

Can you feel sorrow?
Coz I feel hollow
After the turmoils
And all the pain

Can you look into the depths of my soul
reflected through the window of my eye?
I've tried to search my soul
Maybe I haven't tried enough
Would you help me my friend?
Would you? Can you?

2008-01-13T21:24:00.001-08:00

Have seen dawn and sunset on moors and windy hills
Coming in solemn beauty like slow old tunes of Spain:
I have seen the lady April bringing in the daffodils,
Bringing the springing grass and the soft warm April rain.

I have heard the song of the blossoms and the old chant of the sea,
And seen strange lands from under the arched white sails of ships;
But the loveliest things of beauty God ever has showed to me
Are her voice, and her hair, and eyes, and the dear red curve of her lips.

2008-01-13T21:19:00.001-08:00

All the love that history knows,
is said to be in every rose.
Yet all that could be found in two,
is less than what I feel for you.

WISH

2008-01-13T21:16:00.001-08:00

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

benummed

2008-01-05T00:27:00.000-08:00

Now that I have your face by heart, I look
Less at its features than its darkening frame
Where quince and melon, yellow as young flame,
Lie with quilled dahlias and the shepherd's crook.
Beyond, a garden. There, in insolent ease
The lead and marble figures watch the show
Of yet another summer loath to go
Although the scythes hang in the apple trees.

Now that I have your face by heart, I look.

Now that I have your voice by heart, I read
In the black chords upon a dulling page
Music that is not meant for music's cage,
Whose emblems mix with words that shake and bleed.
The staves are shuttled over with a stark
Unprinted silence. In a double dream
I must spell out the storm, the running stream.
The beat's too swift. The notes shift in the dark.

Now that I have your voice by heart, I read.

Now that I have your heart by heart, I see
The wharves with their great ships and architraves;
The rigging and the cargo and the slaves
On a strange beach under a broken sky.
O not departure, but a voyage done!
The bales stand on the stone; the anchor weeps
Its red rust downward, and the long vine creeps
Beside the salt herb, in the lengthening sun.

Now that I have your heart by heart, I see.

2007-12-28T23:25:00.001-08:00

The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours.

The love that I have
Of the life that I have
Is yours and yours and yours.

A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause.

For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours and yours.

2007-12-28T23:13:00.000-08:00

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
She was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever, I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

2007-07-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

this is absolutely ridiculous. i have been sitting here since 10 in the morning and the server is down since. I just have three days left here at DLR trying to sqeeze in as much work as possible and the server of all things lets me down....

talk about IT.....technological breakthrough my arse!

2007-05-12T00:54:00.000-07:00

7 Things I want to do in this lifetime:

1.i want to build an airctaft.
2.i want to tour the world ( already toured europe and south east asia )
3.watch a football worldcup final live.
4.i want to have a bedroom with mirrors on all the 5 walls...for obvious reasons.
5.i want to be a writer.
6.learn to play the guitar
7.have an enviable library and cd collection

7 Things I can do:

1.cook[i make amazing omelette and coffee]
2.self motivate at the rate of knots
3.i can fix a fuse :D
4.i can swim,row and skate
5.gossip 24*7 without a break!
6.sleep for days altogether
7.Bawl at people one moment and forgive them in the very next

7 Things I can’t do:

1.play my guitar!
2.hide my emotions
3.put on make up like a pro!
4.tolerate snobs,liars.
5.get on with people who have no goal in life
6.i can't dance even if i am paid to.
7.keep my closet in order

7 Things that attract me to other person:

1.intelligence
2.ability to strike up a conversation
3.witts
4.courteous and responsible
5.broad minded outlook, ready for a challenge ( i define broad minded as someone who can accept and respect cultural differences, reason things out without blindly believing what has been put down from the ages. Please do not confuse with conservativeness and outgoing behaviour. Being broad minded is not being outgoing for me. I hold my reservations against wannabe outgoing people )
6.mature and sensible
7.expressive

7 people i prize the most

1.dolon
2.somshubhro
3.nirjhar
4.raunak
5.debanjan
6.roop dada

anger

2007-04-29T09:49:00.000-07:00

'Managers help people to see themselves as they are. Leaders help people to see themselves better than they are.'

- Jim Rohn.

'The thing is that you are making me angry.' That is what a feminist acquaintance told me once during one of my visits to my old flat in Kolkata, and as it might have happen to you at some time or another, the thought of that phrase just keep popping up in my mind, for years.

I don't remember anymore the infamous tug-of-war that made this young lady angry in the first place. Perhaps was the fact that I don't like popcorn, or perhaps it was that I said that whales are not a plague after all, like some suggested.

It is not that I have kept a grudge about it; not at all, but nevertheless, the thing just persisted suggesting me its idiotic nature but without words. You know, like one of those things that you know it is terribly wrong, but you don't know how.

How can someone turn us angry? Do we have dial, like a microwave oven, or can our anger be controlled by infrarred devices, like your TV control? Isn't it demeaning to ourselves to suggest that someone else is 'making' us angry, happy, sad, etc.?

Bluntly said, it means that someone is controlling our minds. Just the thought, the expression, the notion that someone is able to manipulate us in such a way is to admit that we are not free after all.

Chilling.

Indeed, we are free but from ourselves. For all that matters, it is just to fool ourselves to pretend that our emotions, whether good or bad, justified or not, are controlled 100% by outside forces.

If someone 'makes us angry', then we are admitting to ourselves and to the world that we have no control over our emotions, that we have no sophistication because our minds cannot detect what comes from inside them, and what comes from the outside, treating exterior ideas as our own, thus letting others 'make us', or generating its own and pretending that they are not, thus pretending that others are 'making us.'

If we go on thorough our lives with such a posture; if we always act in such a way in front of our troubles. If we let ourselves be easily angered, offended or outraged, and instead of admitting that it is us who becomes so instead of being manipulated into such a state, then we are transforming ourselves into slaves of a self that we pretend that it is not in our minds but elsewhere

If that self acts, for all matters, like another being that controls us and we do not recognise as our own concoction but pretend to be from someone else's then what happens is that we relinquish control over that piece of brainy real-estate by assuming that it is our neighbour's.

However, since nobody else is able to read our minds, nobody could care less about our little conspiracy and so, this 'alien self' becomes orphaned.

Therefore, by 'letting others' control our minds instead of admitting our own emotions, mistakes and ideas, we are starting our way to truly become slaves of and orphan master who has no tangible existence.

Quite a stupid way to become a slave, isn't it? And what's more: ideologies such as feminism were born to free a significant part of our world from injustices and ignorance, and these are being embraced every day by lots of people seeking to be freed from others who 'make them' poor, sad or angry.

Most do that just to feel gratified. A few might generate some new ideas about the fact, but for all accounts, those are exceptional individuals.

We are pretending to save ourselves by assuming that we are brutes with no control over our fate. Quite an escapism, don't you think?

Life is about choices. Feminism, like many other political ideologies and philosophies, was born to bring equality to nothing more and less that 50% of the world's population.

However, like many ideologies, it represents two kinds of people: those who think, and those who don't, because every new idea is always take and juggled with by people who seek to improve them, and by people who just want to feel better by letting others explain their world.

The problem with ideas is not who has them, or even what those ideas really are; after all, we have democracy for all the related house chores. The problem in this world, and what transforms ideologies in fanaticism is who do not have ideas, and just import them from their outside.

So, next time someone else is 'making you', if you truly want to feel alive, feel proud of your own concoction, and don't look for aliens in your soup.

the end of cricket's greatest ever

2007-04-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

for one last time as the prince of the Caribbean strode out with that magic wand in his hand, my eyes went watery. Ever since i have watched cricket, this man has been an inspiration of an unique order. His exquisite style, the flamboyance, the arrogance and the controversies....its all been endlessly fascinating. Ive watched all his innings and they are still fresh in my mind. Its a bitter pill to swallow......the realization that I will never get to see the brian charles lara flourish on the field, that i will never sit so tensed as if i was batting out in the middle to watch him bat, that those late night mesmerizing Caribbean innings will not come anymore. Unexpectedly his decision to retire from test cricket has come as a surprise.....and i need not say that the WICB is solely responsible for it
they say sachi tendulkar is the greatest batsman of all times......i beg to differ!. To carry the burden of a losing team for a better part of his career and still to produce the goods at the consistent rate as him is praiseworthy.

hail the great brian charles lara......ur legacy will remain forever!

TRUE TO EVERY WORD

2007-01-27T02:55:00.000-08:00

Well after all, Pickering, I'm an ordinary man,
Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance,
to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants...
An average man am I, of no eccentric whim,
Who likes to live his life, free of strife,
doing whatever he thinks is best, for him,
Well... just an ordinary man...
BUT, Let a woman in your life and your serenity is through,
she'll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome,
and then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you...
Let a woman in your life, and you're up against a wall,
make a plan and you will find,
that she has something else in mind,
and so rather than do either you do something else
that neither likes at all You want to talk of Keats and Milton,
she only wants to talk of love,
You go to see a play or ballet, and spend it searching
for her glove, Let a woman in your life
and you invite eternal strife,
Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands...
I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling
than to ever let a woman in my life, I'm a very gentle man,
even tempered and good natured
who you never hear complain,
Who has the milk of human kindness
by the quart in every vein,
A patient man am I, down to my fingertips,
the sort who never could, ever would,
let an insulting remark escape his lips
Very gentle man...
But, Let a woman in your life,
and patience hasn't got a chance,
she will beg you for advice, your reply will be concise,
and she will listen very nicely, and then go out
and do exactly what she wants!!!
You are a man of grace and polish,
who never spoke above a hush,
all at once you're using language that would make
a sailor blush, Let a woman in your life,
and you're plunging in a knife,
Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks,
I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition
than to ever let a woman in my life I'm a quiet living man,
who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room,
who likes an atmosphere as restful as
an undiscovered tomb,
A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys,
who likes to meditate, contemplate,
far for humanities mad inhuman noise,
Quiet living man....
But, let a woman in your life, and your sabbatical is through,
in a line that never ends comes an army of her friends,
come to jabber and to chatter
and to tell her what the matter is with YOU!,
she'll have a booming boisterous family,
who will descend on you en mass,
she'll have a large wagnarian mother,
with a voice that shatters glass,
Let a woman in your life,
Let a woman in your life,
Let a woman in your life I shall never let a woman in my life.

2007-01-05T05:34:00.001-08:00

The Return of ......

....sentences not seemingly unconnected to the previous and subsequent ones.

I wish sometimes that life wouldn’t be such a fine balancing act in its entirety. In its entirety, mind. I’m given to sloppiness, and I detest having to accept being inevitably penalised for it. Penalization is a wonderful slavedriver, but the whiplashed soul craves respite, at times. The super ego that hitherto commanded discipline has relinquished its authority, as a potentially ruinous consequence of which, the id, hardwired as it is, for slacking, hasn’t been channelling its energies toward anything productive for quite a while. yes, its always an internal tussle. it matters little if life were regimented by external sources. The self would then just rebel. And that is worse.
However, all units shall be duly deployed for damage control henceforth. My life’s an endless cycle of damage and remedial measures. I suppose everybody’s is, and I am merely magnifying my own condition as we humans are wont to do. Everything I say and feel and do has already been said and felt and done by others a gazillion times before.

Things are a bit stringy.

So, as I was saying, its all such a ridiculously close balancing act. Like individualisation and socialization. Yes. Ok Typical teen things. Its perhaps not as deserving of attention as quantum teleportation, but I think about lesser things in times of ruminative idleness.

Disclaimers aside, this is the epiphany of the day, then.

Too little of both individualization and socialization begets useless islanded beings crippled by The Hedgehog’s Conundrum. too much of individualization and little socialisation never did anyone any good, rebelwithoutacause and all of that. This misguided fervour for separating the self from the system on grounds of the self’s conviction of its own superiority/inferiority is utterly ineffectual.And illusory, too.
And we all know what becomes of stunted individualization and freewheeling, bordering on addictive, socialization. Everybody becomes even more of an assembly line dummy than the rather long passage of time since the first human learnt to think would have one be. I suppose I should present that favourite excuse for intellectual bankruptcy here. Again. Its all already been thought of. And trying to think of something new is even more of a pain than it probably was a century ago.
But that’s all batbogey. *New* is limitless.

But wait, there’s that state of fabled equilibrium here as well. The Doctrine of Moderation. Its deceptively simple, like everything else. What one must make oneself do, in order to avoid becoming food for the ones higher up the food chain in this perilously overpopulated, competitive environment, is to grow from the knowledge of the rest.

2007-01-05T05:33:00.001-08:00

Perfect Person...

#1. MUST provide me with an inexhaustible impetus to better myself.
#2. Must be a sufferable know-it-all so that I at least know what i dont know and hence make an effort to know them, clever without being pompous, that is, but allowed to be so when with other persons if he/she so desires.
#3. Must have cold cold cold palms, and even colder fingers.
#4. Must divine when to leave me alone and when to be around.
#5. Must treat me like a god, pamper me silly, shower me with attention,love, generally be possessively crazy abt me .....blah blah blah.
#6. Must walk around with me, aimlessly, for miles, in companionable silence and hand in hand if need be.
#7. Must be extremely mature+tactful+know how to make max use of time, resources, i.e, evrything that I aspire to be.
#8. Must be able to make me grin n be happy without ne one traceable reason.

There, thts done.

Ne1 answering ne 5 of the above requisites free to approach me.

2007-01-05T05:32:00.000-08:00

Quota Mayhem

"........If the Union HRD minister's reservations proposal goes through, then only 9 out of over one lakh candidates who sit for the AIIMS entrance test would get admission in the general category. The rest of the 400-plus seats would be filled by the various reserved categories."

~from The Telegraph

Somebody suggested all-sc/st/obc institutes.

But they who make the decisions have decided to increase the total no. of seats. Something not attempted in the last 29 yrs.

Of course, why bother about trivial issues such as brain drain?

2007-01-05T05:31:00.000-08:00

Arbit thoughts of a jobless mind

I speak in excerpts of my thoughts, rather disjointed, fractured they are. I must work at effective communication. I view writing as a way of organising as well as purging my thoughts. Hence, the following. This is, I think, the most feasible, and, unobtrusive medium through which I can expound my opinions/ideas/worldview on the rather motley range of things that prey on my mental faculties and take up a lot of mental activity.

Besides, its a sunday, and my prior engagements have been cancelled. This is practise,so I do not slide into the words-don't-flow-from-me-anymore mode.

Every new person one meets outside of one’s habitat is a potential clean slate. Whoever doesn’t know about one’s background is another potential study in the dynamics of human psychology and the organic matrix of interpersonal relationships. One can present any picture of oneself. Unless the person at the other end interacts with other people who know one, that person, in all probability, will fill in the blanks themselves and form a mental picture not completely congruous to that formed by other persons one interacts with. Hence, a world peopled with polygonal, multicephalous human beings.

But well, one’s entire existence can only be effectively called real and worthful if and only if it is acknowledged/sanctioned/approved(?) by other points in that vast organic matrix called society. One might as well disintegrate into ectoplasm if nobody else could be bothered enough to acknowledge one’s existence.

At this point, I must post a disclaimer. I do not, in any audacity, claim to be possessed of an extraordinarily keen facility of observation, nor any bloated repository of knowledge about the intricate interdependent functioning of the world. On the contrary, I’ve viewed only a microcosm of it which cannot, by any stretch of imagination, be taken as a reliable sample to make generalisations about.

Consider a name. What purpose would it serve if it were not spoken of by the other assorted inmates of this reality-prison? A group of syllables, merely, to facilitate better retrieval from memory, communication, and to inject order into society. Identity is a myth in one’s head to reassure oneself of one’s worth in the grander scheme of things, whatever that be, and an ostrich-like state of denial in the face of impermanence.

Entire human lifespans evaporate leaving little, or no trace at all. Only memories, in other humans' heads, other humans with equally short lifespans. Perhaps that is why men of yore sought to build magnificent tributes to their vanity, (pyramids, et al) why humans of a slightly elevated, enlightened plane, in all epochs, have sought to create things of enduring allure-- things of art. It is one's only shot at preservation, immortality, dare I say?

2007-01-05T05:30:00.000-08:00

Living in the present!!

I don’t understand. There’re people who derive an unseemly, malevolent pleasure out of inflicting misery, unprovoked. I wasn’t even aware of their existence until sometime ago. Which got me thinking. I’ve led a very cloistered existence. I’m looking at my life right now and I’m marvelling at the absolute absence of evil in it. Which is not to say that that is the case in actuality. It just appears so now. I feel incredibly untainted right now. Some other time when I feel particularly wretched, I’ll rant about the horrors lurking in the recesses of my very selective memory, distorted, I’m sure, several times over.

I’m going through the I’ve-always-been-happy-as-sunshine phase. I’m looking at my life right now and I’m thinking about something called “Gandhiji’s Talisman” that used to be printed before the contents page of every NCERT textbook I’ve had to read. Funny I should think about it, really, because I don’t like the man, and moreover I don’t exactly follow his talisman, verbatim. It says something like when one’s in doubt or when the self becomes too much with one, one must apply a test, and recall the face of the poorest and the weakest and ask oneself if the step one’s contemplating would be of any use to him. And then it goes on about swaraj. The doubts and the self’s supposed to melt away by doing this. I only do the recalling bit.

It's been saving me since class IV.

Being acutely aware of having been given more than enough, while others, perhaps worthier, have no choice but to fight tooth and nail for the same, can sometimes be an extraordinary incentive to hold on to what one has with redoubled tenacity, hitherto undiscovered. This is how I was taught to value things. "Lokey khete paye na", and all of that, but with a very scary Darwinian twist- "Eta koro, noyetoh you'll end up in the unselected reject pile. No offspring of mine is going to be in the reject pile." One of the perks of having a mother obssessed with genetics, evolutionary biology and the like. Come to think of it, she could have made an excellent teacher, if she could explain the 5observation/3inference Natural selection thing to a 4 year old in a way that that 4 year old never forgot. Sometimes I miss the Punett square games.

I’m always marvelling at my fortune, and thanking whatever it is that’s constructing my semi-charmed reject-pile life.

I’m looking at my life right now, and I’m smiling, and inside my head its wow. WOW WOW WOW!!

The why WHY WHY WHY can go knit itself a furry yellow jumper to keep warm while it sits out the cold treatment it shall receive for some time now.

I’m Jack’s irrepressible half-grin, at the moment.

LAWS OF FEMALE RELATIVITY

2006-12-22T22:57:00.000-08:00

LAWS OF FEMALE RELATIVITY

Firstly, my apologies……I have made minor ramifications to the blog planned as ‘THE NAKHRAS OF WOMEN’. This is what I have come up with now.

SOURCES: my baby sis ( who is no more a baby but behaves like one----she is 18 ), my ex-girlfreind( thank god ), my aunt ( who I am extremely close to ), a wild, impatient and curious feline ( without a coccyx ), a friend who I was really close to at one point of time in college ( sigh ) and my best friend’s girlfriend ( who thinks im spoiling him..will do even more after reading this probably ).

1. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

2. girls are like elephants you can see them.. but can never own one

3. Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

4. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way

5. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense;)

6. Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget

7. behind every satisfied woman there is a tired man ( don’t you dare think dirty )

8. ."hell hath no fury as a scorned woman"...

9. love is blind..... but marriage is a real eye opener

10. Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.
Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex. ( not from the sources mentioned above )

11. regularly used oxymoron….” Clearly misunderstood!!! “

12. favourite subject ( another oxymoron in itself )……” political science”

13. never ask a woman out to a shopping mall. Even if you do, make sure you are not carrying any cash or your debit card with you. ( for obvious reasons )

14. ask a woman to dress up two hours before u wanna leave. That’s a bare minimum. Also say that she is looking good even if she is not…..otherwise you stand to risk another couple of hours.

15. never refer to previous situations…….they suffer from temporary amnesia.

16. always stay alert because a stretch of excessive laughter can suddenly convert to wrath.

17. never try to read a female or predict her moves………ull always end up on the wrong side. ( especially in matters of the heart )

18. think a hundred times over before praising another woman in front of one……she will kill the last cell in your body.

19. a woman is always right, women are the wisest species on earth…..in case of any altercations refer to the two rules above.

20. always trust a woman…..never expect anything in return. ( ull be left felling chagrin )

the art called 'woman'

2006-12-22T04:57:00.000-08:00

It is said that ‘the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world’. Albeit, the truth of the statement remains debatable, the mysterious aura associated with women is conspicuous. It’s the rendition from god that keeps us men captivated and dazzled. From the burgeoning swoosh of the hair to the convoluted curves of the body, it is what maketh the male sex drool.

Dating back to the days of history, behind every man’s success ( or failure ) there has been a woman’s role. Just like they can play the ‘shoulder to lean on’ role, they can also be the master of deceit. And when a woman lays a dubious trap, males are generally known tofall for it hook-line-sinker. No wonder women are deified as incarnation of supreme power in the books of mythology. The intricacies and foresight of women are something beyond the capabilities of a male think tank.

Ok, enough of illustrations…..i guess its time for me to scribble my personal opinion on women. Although I must admit that I haven’t been close to a lot of women, I have had a real hard time trying to understand their ways. Reading between the lines of a woman is one of the most abstruse tasks that I have ever embarked on…..mostly I have landed up on the wrong side ( sandhya being the only exception I guess….i could read through her words and predict her moves more or less. Not that she was dumb, but she was pretty transparent ). Especially if the female depicts felinity, then god save the man…..ask me…im going through it now. ( giggles aside ).

While we men struggle for every morsel of our grades, these women pull them out with such insouciance that it disparages our efforts. And although people around keep saying that it’s the ‘female’ factor that fetches them the favour, I find the logic extremely garrulous. But I do believe it’s a female’s capability to concentrate for longer hours at a stretch that gets her the edge over the man….not necessarily the intellect.

I have always believed that extremes are complimentary in women. They are accused of gossip but through personal experience I have also come to know that they can hold volumes inside their stomach without even a whisper. It’s a gift to have the confidence of a woman and her’s as a shoulder to lean and cry on. And though I have not had the fortunes to have been loved by a woman ( atleast truly ) I would love to be intoxicated someday by the commitments of relationship.

The blog remains incomplete without paying tribute to the anatomy of a female. Readers please forgive me if I sound lewd, but my visit to khajuraho has just been an experience of a lifetime. Truly, the accentuating curves of the female anatomy are an assuage to a man’s cause- nature’s wonder should I say. From the cascading darkness of the hair to the covexity of the bosom flowing down into the botttleneck shaped waistline, every angle is perfectioned to articulate detail. A teacher in school had told me that every man ( I have to curb my chauvinism here to say the truth ) is born from a woman’s womb and the statement couldn’t be more just.

What is it in women that we fall for them?..what is it that she that makes her so unpredictably mysterious and enigmatic? What is so intoxicating in their fragrance that humbles the flowers even? What is so bucolic in seeing water drip from every strand of her hair?......answers that I have never had and probably never will. Maybe that’s what makes them so special, so urbane and rustic. They are the samples to cosset in your household.

Now for the negative part……..nah!! ill keep it to the positives only. The negatives will come in another blog.....titled 'THE NAKHRAS OF THE FEMALE SEX '.

Cheers!!

chemonomics

2006-12-08T05:16:00.000-08:00

Recently I have come to know about the existence of a compound named ‘ EDUCATED UNEMPLOYED’
Chemical formula: EU

OCCURRENCE: omnipresent in INDIAl

PREPARATION: EU is prepared by taking an element called student in a multichambered furnace called college and after years of fluxing with a substance called knowledge. At regular intervals it is purified by a filter called ‘ question paper ‘. It is then packed in special packing foils called ‘ grade sheets ‘ and released into the market through the employment exhange.

CHEMICAL EQUATION: ( student + knowledge + question paper )/marksheet=EU

PROPERTIES OF THE ELEMENT STUDENT :

1. it is attracted to a magnetic material called love
2. it is insoluble in common solvents but readily soluble in ‘ friends and fashion ‘
3. exists in two isomeric forms- male and female
4. when subjected to immense pressure from family and society , it undergoes tautomerism and usually undergo ‘ suicide ‘
5. when freshly prepared, they possess a lot of dreams which vaporize when exposed to the society

CHEMICAL REACTIONS

1. EU + interview=failure + hopelessness
2. EU + politics=meeting + bombing + beating
3. EU + society=insult

USES: it is used indiscriminately by politicians for their selfish ends.

Nb: this is a sarcastic composition highlighting the evergrowing problem of unemployment that has hit the nation. The composer earnestly hopes that this light composition will go a long way in rendering the heavy crisis of EU.

smoke on the waters

2006-12-08T05:02:00.000-08:00

They say history repeats! And at times the statement becomes so glaringly obvious and true. With a bit of ramifying touches of urban modernization, the ‘old’ is hitting Vogue Street thick and fast. No guesses for figuring out that it’s the ‘generation next’ that has been hit by wave, finding vicarious pleasures reliving those ages of the empires, in their own self-defined way. From the 60’s styles glazers, to bell-bottoms, to the mafia back-brush youths seem to have embraced history in their own ‘cool’ way.
However here I wish to share the experience of my first puff at the ‘hookah’. Another of those ‘blasts from the past’ that has become increasingly popular among the teens. Now as you hit the streets of Calcutta and look around, you will find a hookah parlor at every nook and corner. Even the café coffee day outlets have hookah at their out-chambers these days to meet up with the increasing number of teens trying a puff or two. I must admit that smoking at the hookah is absolutely innocuous. Albeit I don’t think it will take over the cigarette because of its clumsy size and the price tag it comes with. Its like dilettante smoking.
For all those wondering how the stuff looks and works, its basically a long water chamber which filters the coal smoke as you inhale it through a long serpent like pipe. Most importantly its tobacco free and hence, not so injurious to health. Its actually quite a regal feeling as you lie on the cozy couch, smoking at the pipe and trying to make smoke halos out of it. The smoke that you exhale is very dense I must say. Oh! and I also forgot to mention that the hookah comes in various flavors---peach, lemon mint, chocolate mint, chocolate brown so on and so forth. It’s the smoke that carries the aroma.
As I entered ‘seed beans and aroma’ I found a group of guys and girls engrossed in smoking. At first sight they looked like college goers, however I was proven wrong when I came to know that they were high school students. When I was in school these things were not around, and even if they were I don’t think I would have been allowed to go there. But it was really nice to see school students enjoying life just like me…something I had not done when I was in school, rather I could not do when I was in school.
Quite a concoction of thoughts I must say at first sight……as if in a time machine people have traveled back through the ages and living life in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries…..just that instead of robes you have youths in casuals and jeans. I tried to be a bit opulent with my style of smoking-----twisted my wrist, curled up the pipe from the side and held the smoke in for as long as I could before languidly exhaling. I achieved my intention which was to get a bit high……the sensation was quite soothing I must say. With light music echoing in the background, dim lights and the smoke, it was pretty close to heaven of my imagination. Being on vacation after four months of drudgery, I was enjoying life like never before.
We walked out, headed straight into my friend’s car and like as if I was playing nfs, everything passed by me like a blur. God………some experience. Now I am keeping my fingers crossed. I don’t want to falls pray to the lure of the hookah. Not because of health concerns or moral trepidation, but for pecuniary concerns. An hour at the parlor and a hundred bucks just smoke away from the pocket like the smoke of the pipe. But who cares about the money?...i guess money outflux is just to ensure money influx. So for you guys, hit the road and get a taste of the sheesha.